Being somewhat new to the doula community definitely has its challenges. One big one is learning to bite your tongue when it comes to speaking to other doulas.
Between our business pages and our sharing of personal experiences, sometimes we get ahead of ourselves, thinking we know whats best for our clients no matter what.
Let me set a quick reminder to these doulas who believe we ALWAYS know what's best for our client - You don't.
Did someone say doctor or doula?
We are not doctors. We are not nurses. I myself have a lot of previous medical experience, but I am never going to correct a nurse or doctor on their medical advice for a laboring/postpartum mother or baby.
As a doula, I want those medical professionals on my side! To earn respect, you have to give it. And if I'm frequently seeing these physicians in my area, I want them to respect my job duties, just as I will theirs. Let’s restate... Stop correcting medical professionals because it isn't professional...
What is the point of being a "supportive, non-judgmental" doula, if all you are doing is judging? Stop shaming and discrediting someone’s idea of their perfect birth. Let’s say a mom had an unplanned, cesarean birth and she’s happy with the outcome. Why is there a need to make that mom feel that she was robbed of her birth experience? Maybe she doesn't feel that way at all!
Not your mama's birth
Stop trying to revise your birth story through someone else's birth experience. So your birth didn't go as you'd planned, and you aren't so happy with it all together. Stop rubbing off your bitterness about it onto a mom who doesn't have these possibilities in her mind or hindsight. We are not in the business of mind control. Don't make your job an effort to control everyone else's birth stories and outcomes.
I think some of us need the reminder that judgment free means avoiding moral judgment. Keep your mind from going there. Keep "supportive" in your vocabulary and live by it. Otherwise, you’re failing in your duties as a doula.